i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
