im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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