at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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