Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
