is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
