So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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