she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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