no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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