Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
