please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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