Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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