But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
