We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
