Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
