She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
