I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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