Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
