My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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