Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
