I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
