Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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