I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.