Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.