Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think i have two assholes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
