i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
