is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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