I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
