i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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