just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize