glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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