bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
