I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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