just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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