Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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