There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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