Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
