New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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