hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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