I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
