remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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