I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
