my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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