Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
