Acid is not a monday night drug
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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