To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He felt like a one man threesome
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
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There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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