So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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