i think i have two assholes
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I will pee on everything he values.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
