There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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