you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
