i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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