dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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