I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
