Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just wanna soil my oats bro
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
