I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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