There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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