This is not my ceiling
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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