you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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