She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
