well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
